Other dad stuff   4 comments


Ok, I’m not going to cry in this post.  I wanted to take a look at the other side of the coin just to be fair.

 

One of the things I am most proud of in my life is my near-encyclopedic musical knowledge.  I don’t mean this indie hipster self-fellating bullshit (Mumford and Sons et al. can go pound sand).  I mean old, OLD shit that most people don’t know ever existed. I learned about Les Paul and Mary Ford, Peggy Lee, the Ink Spots, Marlene Dietrich and a ton of other stuff.  I have my dad to thank for a lot of that.  I’m not sure he knows how much I know though.

He built what was intended to be a shed in the backyard when I was little.  I appropriated it for a clubhouse.  He didn’t put anything in it for years.  I just played in it.

I went home for Easter six or seven years ago and it turned out I’d picked up a stomach bug.  I was in the bathroom tossing my cookies at 2 AM and I heard him wake my mom up – “Hey babe?  E’s throwing up.  You better go check on her.”  That actually made me laugh.

I went to work.  I bought a truck.  I lost my job.  Guess who picked up my truck note?

So a lot of what I’m struggling with is that I just don’t know how I’m supposed to feel.  How can someone be a complete ogre and a Good Guy Greg at the same time?  Seriously, what am I supposed to do with that?  Sometimes I feel like it’s tearing me in half.  I don’t mean to be dramatic, it’s just really really frustrating.  And my mom is right in the middle.  But that’s another blog post.

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Posted June 17, 2013 by justanotherfatboy in Uncategorized

4 responses to “Other dad stuff

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  1. It happens. Maybe along the way and over the years, he may have realized or at least took a brief moment to recollect on some of the times he wasn’t nice to you. Maybe in his own way, he wanted to do something to make up for it. As for the torn feelings you have about him, I think they are perfectly normal. There’s no right or wrong way to feel about a person, especially a family member.

  2. Nobody is 100% bad or good. I am sure even terrible people like William Shatner have some tolerable qualities. If people were complete assholes or complete sweethearts, having relationships on all levels would be way easier. You would also be able to figure out who your friends are within 5 minutes of meeting them. Being so diverse within ourselves is kind of a beautiful thing. I know one time I bit the neighborhood kid on his arm, but a couple of months later went over to play with him because he had chicken pox and I was the only friend he had who already had it. I was an asshole and then later I was nice. Was it because I felt guilty for biting him? No. I probably forgot about it by then. But he was my friend and I loved him. And he probably caught me on a bad day when I bit him and I decided to take everything out on him. Does it make it right? No, nothing excuses the fact that I hurt my friend. Honestly, this comment was supposed to only be two sentences about how much I hate William Shatner, but it has turned into something else entirely. Sorry about that. My point is, we all have bad shit and good shit. You shouldn’t be conflicted about your feelings regarding any of your dad’s behavior. He was an asshole at times and you can hate him for that. He was nice at times and you can love him for that. I think it is less about figuring out what his motivation was for his behavior and more about finding peace within yourself. You got through it. You are strong. You are an amazing person and have people who love you dearly. You don’t exhibit that same type of hateful behavior. You can hate him for stuff and you can love him for stuff and don’t beat yourself up like you have to choose a side. You can feel however you want whenever you want. Look at the bright side. William Shatner could have been your dad.

    • Wow, Crystal. Two things:

      1) Thank you very much. I try to always remember that we’re all human and things aren’t black and white.

      2) How are you not famous? This is some of the funniest shit I ever read?

  3. 1. Whew! I am glad you don’t like him either! I was nervous about that after I hit “post comment.”
    2. I miss you and Sarah.

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